friend _ boyfriend (insert <, >, or = in the blank)

last week my mom received my academic reports for the semester. it was bad.
my mom refused to let me attend my friend's birthday dinner (sorry sammy) that I was looking forward to for a month (it was Korean bbq, I barely ate for 2 days previous. total fail.), told me I couldn't hang out with my friends, and then she told me that she didn't want me to date anymore. okay so I didn't really feel that devastated until she said that I couldn't see him. It made me see that I'm...more fond of him than my, give or take 5-6 year long, friends.

so I thought about it and I realized a lot. it's always been something I've thought about I guess.. the differences between my friends and Ryan. I've also had a conversation with a friend of mine who is in a similar situation as me (and better yet have the same group of friends...making the problem almost exactly the same)
and here's what I've summed up...
the honest to god truth about what I feel towards couple+best friend combos is this:
I get it.
I get how you only want to hang with your boyfriend or girlfriend because he or she is the only living person out there that will never judge you or like you a little less if you complain, the only person that will tolerate your nags and understand that it's not worth changing your philosophy, the only person that will stay when there is a huge problem involving your friends, the only one who will call you at 2 am when you're still crying about that friend who said nasty things about you, they are the only god damn person who won't let their emotions, or the time of the day, affect how they treat you.
I understand it all.

I mean, why bother with countless friends who only are conditionally fond of you? why must they like you one day and then dislike you the next? and for what reasons? because you've been hanging out with them too much? because you're loud? talk too much? why bother with friends that let the fact that you did something completely stupid and mindless affect their judgment of you? why bother if the fact that you don't buy your clothes at club monaco/your life doesn't revolve around shopping for new clothes/you don't have nice going-out clothes/you don't have 6 million pairs of heels/flats/sandles/boots, makes them like you a little less?

I know by saying this I will be judged almost instantly, but the truth is that in my life, there is no competition between the relationship between my boyfriend and I and the relationship between me and my friends. Because for me, I've build not only the basic foundation of fondness but also the bullet-proof notion of unconditional love. and everyday, I see how I can't count on anyone else. yeah sure, you could say it's all my fault, that I didn't show up at the dinner party or didn't stick around till 1 am, because I went to hang out with my boyfriend...but here's the deal, maybe I'm doing all that because he never lets me down, makes me feel insignificant, never forgets about me, asks me how I am, tells me that I'm smart, makes that C+ in Chinese a funny joke, tries to make me laugh when times are shit, talks me through problems, helps me with my chemistry homework (without any self-beneficial intentions), and doesn't keep pushing me to pay back that $150 I owe him.

so get your heads on straight friends.
I know passing up a night to do illegal bad-ass epic shit is a total "lame" thing for me to do, but it's because I can still have a great night with just my other half.