Looks like I'm bound for another sleepless night. It's just too hard to just let sleep happen when my mind won't shut the hell up. I keep getting bombarded with angry words that won't leave me alone...and I'm trying not to let it cease to affect me by squeezing the dear cotton out of my sleep pal, Dingo. What am I to do right now? Ponder for another countless hours until the alarm goes off at 6:00 am, think through a shower and then have to deal with an entire day of classes I barely get inspiration out of? No thanks. I'm just not having fun right now.
I'm too confused about what people mean by me not being able to confront when I always feel like the only person confronting. Then once I say that, their only defense is that they have nothing to confront about. If I were a goddamn saint (and please, I know I am not) then perhaps I would actually believe that there is nothing to confront, but this is the real world. Hello, obviously there are problems and you don't want to bring upon "petty" fights. Well guess what friends, petty fights add up to a big explosion (yes, similar to the atom bomb, it will make your eyes melt from your sockets because it is that bad). So, take the little quarrel as an act of kindness or even an act of consideration from your loved one because it's better than the alternative.
I hate more intensely than I love.
That's what makes my life inevitably complex.
Not because of love, but because of my uncontrollable stools of hate-diarrhea.
I beg to every God that exists that I fall asleep before 1 am.
If I don't, I will be a very ferocious beast tomorrow... either that or my alter-ego which is a dwarf...specifically Gimli from LOTR.
Awesome.
About Me
- aud
- Hong Kong, Hong Kong
- "...you just have this really shitty way of looking at things, ya know? I don't have that problem. I just look at the dopeness. But you, it's like you just look at the wackness."
Milked and served for your content. Read with care.
-Aud
Sunday, January 24, 2010
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found you, guuuuurl. nice new blog :)
ReplyDeleteanyways. there was definitely a point in my life where i hated more intensely than i loved. it made me miserable because i would be so fixated on these little irrational hatreds that i'd be unable to forgive them with love. i don't know if i'm fully out of that stage yet, but i'm trying & i try hard every day. i know it's not good for me or for anyone else, but its an indulgence. and it's the hardest thing to leave.